Selah
by Lori2279
Summary: So I blame it on the sun Run away from everyoneLorelai Lying to myself and everybody else Refusing to admit my right was wrong Luke Please save me from myself I need you to save me from myself Both
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

AN: Thank you Kate and thank you Lauren Graham and Scott Patterson for playing Luke and Lorelai so beautifully. Now if Amy would only get them back together we could concentrate on more important things. Like writing their wedding. :)

* * *

"Hey Caesar, where's Lane," Luke asked as he wiped down the counter.

"Trying to get her car started. Your girl's helping."

Luke looked out the window to the street and sure enough Lane's ancient VW bug was at the curb with the hood up. He smiled when his wife's face peered around the edge of it.

"Okay Lane, try it again," he heard her voice say.

Lane turned the key and let out a joyful whoop when the engine turned over. Lorelai closed the hood and walked to the driver's side of the car and crouched down.

"That should hold it until Gypsy opens up tomorrow."

"You're an angel, Lorelai. Usual fee?"

"Next Friday? I'll see if I can convince Luke that we need a night to ourselves."

"Call me when you know," Lane smiled. "Tell Luke I'll be back in a minute. I'm gonna take this to Gypsy's now and walk back over."

"You got it," Lorelai smiled, standing up. She watched Lane drive away and turned to back into Luke's. She stopped when she saw Luke watching her. The door was propped open a little to let the soft spring breeze into the diner. She smiled at him and then motioned to the direction Lane had driven and he nodded. Then she pointed to herself and then the gazebo. Getting the message he nodded and signed to her. She smiled and mouthed, 'Me too'. Then she turned and walked across the street. She sat down on the steps of the gazebo and tilted her face to the sun.

She liked the gazebo more now. Since the weather had been nicer she'd taken to sitting out there and just watching the town move around her.

And he watched her. He did that a little more often; he could admit it to himself and on occasion to her. He supposed it was a reflex born of the time he wasn't watching and she slipped away. Funny thing was that if he'd been watching her on the gazebo on another spring day he'd have seen the scene Jackson had told him about.

_Lorelai was charging across the town square when Jackson saw her. She looked determined and she was heading straight for Luke's. The man himself was currently on the sidewalk in front of it talking; no make that yelling, at Taylor Doose. Just as Lorelai reached the gazebo she stopped and then she doubled over trying to catch her breath. Jackson headed straight for her._

_Jackson put a hand on Lorelai's back and the other one on her shoulder, trying to support her without making a scene, "Lorelai? It's Jackson. I'm gonna sit you down."_

_"I-my God, what are you wearing?" She demanded to know between pants._

_"Clothes later, regular breathing cycles now," he said as he managed to get her seated. "You okay? You need a doctor?"_

_"I just saw a doctor," Lorelai admitted as her breathing slowed down._

_"You okay?"_

_"Just pregnant," she muttered._

_"Didn't see that one coming," he blinked_

_"Me neither."_

_"So, why are you-" Jackson stopped when he looked in the direction she'd been heading. "Aha. You didn't tell him yet."_

_"No," she shook her head._

_"And you don't think you want to do it in front of Taylor."_

_"I don't think I wanna do it at all. I can't do it again Jackson."_

_"You did a good job with Rory."_

_"I was an idiot kid who didn't have a clue what she was getting into."_

_"Well for an idiot kid, you did good."_

_"Thank you, but that's not what I'm talking about."_

_"What is it then?"_

_"The last time I tried to force Luke to talk to me, it got us over with. I tell him I'm gonna have a baby and that's it. He'll come back and I will always know it was by force. I couldn't raise Rory like that and I can't do it to this one."_

_"Okay, Lorelai, you've got time to make that choice."_

_Lorelai looked towards Luke's and sighed. "Could you get me something to drink?"_

_"Lemonade okay?"_

_"Sounds perfect."_

_"Be right back."_

_In retrospect leaving Lorelai with the sound of her own thoughts was probably not the wisest thing to do, because by the time Jackson got back, Lorelai had a plan brewing._

_"Okay, so, I had an idea." She informed him._

_"I knew I was gone too long," Jackson shook his head and sat down, giving Lorelai her drink. "What's up?"_

_"How'd you like to buy me out?"_

_"For the Dragonfly?"_

_She nodded._

_"Never in a million years."_

_"Oh c'mon Jackson! I need someone I can trust so I know Sook and Michel are in the right hands. You are the only one I can think of right now. I figure you can do it in monthly installments. But, depending on how much you can afford, I need the first checks to go to Luke to pay him back for his investment. I don't owe him that much more but I figure we can combine the two. And you don't even have to participate in the day-to-day. You can hire someone you like to represent you in that fashion."_

_"Lorelai, I don't want you to leave Stars Hollow. You're the only one I know who can interpret my wife for me."_

_"I'll never be farther than a phone call away Jackson," Lorelai promised. "Oh crap! Speaking of Sookie," she retrieved her purse and pulled out her cell phone. She hit a couple of buttons and then waited. "Michel? It's me...You know who it is, stop being you. Put Sookie on," Lorelai rolled her eyes. She directed her next comment to Jackson while she waited, "Why, why do we keep that man around?"_

_"He always comes through, even if he has to sing Annie to dolls."_

_Lorelai giggled. "Sook? Hey, I wanted to tell you that I won't be in for the rest of the day. You gonna be okay?...Good...Oh, I'm just hanging around the gazebo with your husband...You heard me...Okay, bring lunch. See you in a few."_

_"You're a bad woman." He told her._

_"Figure I'll get telling her out of the way. I should tell Rory in person. She's coming home tomorrow."_

_"So, what's the verdict? Are we happy?"_

_"We were," Lorelai said quietly before looking over at Luke's and then back at Jackson. "You know what? We still are."_

_"Good. Congratulations Lorelai," Jackson smiled._

_"Thank you."_

_"So, how are you going to convince Rory to stay at Yale?"_

_"Hmmm. Oh! By telling her if she tries to drop out, I'll break my newly invoked rule of never talking to her grandmother again just this once to tell her that her beloved granddaughter almost had sex at the vow renewal thingie."_

_"Harsh."_

_"Effective."_

_"Speaking of the vow renewal thingie, any word from Rory's donor?"_

_"Several. But if you mean, have I spoken to him, the answer's no."_

_"He's done worse than this in the past."_

_"But I hadn't had someone treating me well in the interim of those times. We got into a bad pattern, and it was tough to break it."_

_"Rory talk to him?"_

_"Haven't asked. My dad called me yesterday. He wanted to know how long I was going to skip Friday night dinner."_

_"Was that an interesting conversation?"_

_"Not really. I said indefinitely, until Mom apologized for telling Christopher to go after me again, or when Hell froze over. He said I was acting like a child."_

_"No, that would be your mother."_

_"See, now that is what I think. Try telling that to Richard Gilmore and having him listen to you." Lorelai sighed and looked over at Luke's again. Luke had gone inside a little while ago after he'd finished arguing with Taylor._

_Jackson followed her line of sight. "You could just walk in there and tell him."_

_Lorelai looked straight out in front of her and shook her head, "No, I can't." She smiled, "Hey Sook."_

_"Hey. So, what's up? Last I knew you were going to the doctor's. Are you okay?" Sookie sat down on the steps with Lorelai and Jackson and gave her friend a box of food. "It's a burger. I made them for that big meeting that was booked today."_

_"Thanks," Lorelai opened the box and took a bite. "Mozzarella?"_

_"Yes. It's a Gourmet Burger."_

_"It's great," Lorelai smiled._

_"So? What's going on? Why are you sitting in the middle of the town with Jackson?"_

_"I started to hyperventilate and Jackson kept me from passing out."_

_"Well, why were you hyperventilating? Are you okay? Did the doctor say something? Are you dying?" Sookie's voice was getting shriller with each question._

_"Sookie, deep breath. I am not dying."_

_"Good."_

_"You and Jackson are going to be godparents," Lorelai said before she bit into her burger again. "This is really good."_

_"Godparents?"_

_"Yeah," Lorelai nodded._

_"You're-"_

_"Uh-huh."_

_"And it's-"_

_"Yeah."_

_"Does he-"_

_"No."_

_"Why not?"_

_"Because I don't want him back like that. If he was gonna come home it would've happened already. He's not coming back Sookie, and I'm not going to make him."_

_"Oh, but he-"_

_"Yeah," Lorelai looked impossibly sad as she interrupted her friend. "I do too."_

_Sookie and Jackson exchanged a look before Sookie took her friend's hand. "Anything you need, you got it."_

_"Thanks."_

"Hey Dad? Can I have a cookie?"

Luke looked towards the counter and saw Will smiling hopefully at his dad.

"After dinner okay? Where's your sister?"

"Satch is over with Aunt Sook at the Kim's. She's helping Aunt Sookie find a chair for Uncle Jackson."

Luke rose an eyebrow. Sookie was great with all kids but her knowledge of signing was limited to 'hi' and 'bye'. "That'll probably take a while. Why didn't you go?"

"Shopping's boring," the five year old announced.

"Yeah, tell me about it," Luke smiled at his son.


	2. Chapter 1

The chapters of this story will be told in the past. Spoilers up until Jews and Chinese Food. Also, I am not a Logan fan. He's just not good for Rory and I see nothing but heartbreak on that end. That said, on with the show.

* * *

"Hey Luke," Jackson came in and sat down in front of him.

"What's up," he asked brusquely. He wasn't in a social mood lately.

"This is for you," Jackson slides a check over to him. "Payment for the loan."

"Right," Luke said glancing at it before him put it in his pocket. Then he took it back out and looked at it again. He looked at Jackson, "This is your check."

"Yeah I know."

"Why are you giving me a check for the loan I gave to Lorelai from your bank account?"

"Part of the deal."

"What deal?"

"The buyout deal."

"Buyout?"

"Yeah. See, since Lorelai still owes you money she figures it'd be easier if I just gave you the money I'm using to buy her out to you until the debt's paid since she'd just be giving you the money anyway."

"Jackson, what the hell are you talking about?"

"I'm buying Lorelai out of the Dragonfly."

"What?"

"Yeah. She finally managed to convince me last night when she and Rory were over for dinner."

"Well, what does she plan on doing once you do that?"

"I don't know. I guess she'll find something wherever she lands."

"Wherever she lands? Jackson, what are you talking about?"

"She's leaving. She put her house up for sale yesterday. I'm surprised Patti or Babette didn't tell you," Jackson said looking at a menu. Then he looked back up, "Hey, can I get an iced tea to- Where are you going?"

"Caesar, you're in charge. I'll be back," Luke said as he flew out of the diner. He headed for his truck intending to drive to the Dragonfly. He stopped when he caught sight of Lorelai going into the dance studio. He knew it was empty at the moment so he figured she wanted some time alone. Fine. She could have all the time she wanted as soon as she explained what the hell she was doing.

She looked up at him when he entered and then back at the magazine she was looking at, "I assume you've talked to Jackson today."

"Yeah but you know Patti or Babette or one of the many other residents of this town probably would've told me if he hadn't. My question is why didn't you tell me?"

"We haven't really been making polite conversation lately."

"Lorelai-"

"I'm busy Luke."

"Doing what?"

"Looking for a new place to live," she said looking up at him.

"What?"

"That's usually what happens when you sell your house Luke. You get to live someplace else."

"You're leaving? You're leaving Stars Hollow altogether?"

"That's the plan."

"Why?"

"Why?"

"Yeah, why? Why now?"

Luke watched her carefully as she considered her words.

"Because this place just doesn't feel like home anymore," she said quietly, looking down as she played with the pen in her hand. She wasn't looking at him.

Luke felt like a jerk. He'd been pissed, thinking she was trying to punish him but here she was doing her damndest to punish herself. "Lorelai, I-"

"You should go," she interrupted him.

"What?"

"You should go. I'm busy and the diner's probably on fire by now."

Any other time, the reminder of that day in the gazebo might've made him smile but now he was just concerned about what the hell Lorelai thought she was doing. "Diner's fine. This isn't. We need to talk some more."

"There's nothing left to say. You're out and I'm outta here," she gave a short laugh, keeping her eyes glued to the magazine in her lap.

"Look at me."

"Go away Luke."

"Look at me," he insisted.

She finally looked up and his heart clenched when he saw the tears in her eyes. "What are you doing Lorelai?"

"Getting the hell out of Dodge."

"Why?"

"I told you."

"I don't believe you."

Lorelai shook her head, "I don't care. Believe me or don't. Talk to me or ignore my existence. It doesn't matter anymore Luke. It's over. You were very clear about that."

"Lorelai-"

"You know why I didn't tell you? Because it's none of your business anymore," her eyes turned to ice.

"That's not fair."

"You can't have it both ways Luke! You can't tell me that you can't be in this relationship anymore, take your boat out of my garage, come to my house and yell at me for some minor infraction, and still expect me to keep you in the loop of what's going on in my life."

"What about coming to your house because I was scared outta my mind you were gonna hurt yourself in some way?"

"You don't have to worry about that anymore. I told you. It was the last crazy thing I do that involved you."

"Lorelai, I'm worried about you," Luke told her honestly.

"You don't have to be. I can take care of myself. I have been since I was sixteen."

"But-"

"Just go."

"I-"

"Please," she begged quietly. "I can't do this with you right now."

"Fine." Luke turned around and started his walk out of the dance studio. He turned around as he got to the door, "So this is it?"

"I think this was 'it' at the market, Luke."

He nodded. "Don't leave without saying good-bye." He was gone before she could offer up a response.

Lorelai scrunched up her nose and squeezed her eyes shut before she took a couple of deep breaths and lay down on her back, her feet on the floor, and her legs bent at the knee.

She put her hands on her stomach and closed her eyes again, "That, little one, was your daddy and I don't care what your big sister says, I am no where _near_ as stubborn as he is. He's also a big chicken. Do you know it took him eight years to ask me on a date?" She sighed. "But he's also an incredibly kind, giving, and smart man. A good man and the kind of man I either want you to be or end up with. You know, I didn't know his folks but word is that he's a lot like your grandpa was. His name was William." Lorelai smiled, "And I think I just came up with my first boy's name: William Richard Danes. That's right, little one. You get your dad's last name. Your sister's dad would probably tell me I'm being unfair because I didn't give her his name but it's different. He and I were different. And you and I will be different. I've done this once before, so no tricks, okay? But the one thing that will be the same is that no matter what, you and Rory will always come first with me. And I promise not to date your teachers," Lorelai smiled.


	3. Chapter 2

Lorelai watched from her car as Luke left the diner and headed towards Doose's. She held her cell phone to her ear and said "Luke" into it. She listened to it dial and waited until the machine picked up. When it beeped she took a deep breath and began.

"Hi Luke. It's me. You said not to leave without saying goodbye and while we don't have the best track record with answering machine messages, here it is. I know this is the chicken shit way of doing it but if I'd done it face to face, I'm not so sure I could have still walked away." Lorelai breathed out a shaky sigh before she continued. "To be honest, I'm not so sure you would've let me walk away. And I need to walk away Luke. It hurts too much to be around you and not be around you. Luke, I love you. I know we never said the exact words and now is a really lousy time to put it out there, but some part of me knows you were always saying it, I just wasn't listening and I'm sorry for that. I'm sorry for a lot of things. I'm sorry I never told you before how I felt and I'm sorry you didn't believe me when I finally did. I'm sorry that my mother is an interfering old witch who just cannot let her daughter be happy and make no mistake, Luke. I was happy. I guess now it's time to find someplace else to be happy in. Two more things before I sign off. Don't call me and don't call Rory. I realize she's my daughter but she loves you too and I don't want her to feel like she's in the middle. She's got enough of that feeling considering my problems with her grandmother and Christopher." Lorelai paused when she caught sight of Luke going back into the diner. "This may sound stalkerish and weird but I called you when I knew you wouldn't be in the vicinity and now you're on the way back so I should wrap this up. I'm sorry we ended the way we did Luke. Truth of it is, I didn't want us to end at all. And thus ends my diatribe. Goodbye Luke. Be happy."

Lorelai hung her cell phone up and took a deep breath. She looked at the car in front of her and nodded at the driver. Rory turned around and started her car.

And with that, the Gilmore Girls left Stars Hollow.

* * *

"Uh, Luke?" Lane ventured to her boss a few moments after she'd watched Rory's car and Lorelai's jeep pull away from the curb.

"Yeah?"

"I think I heard the phone ring before."

"Did you answer it?"

"Why would I answer it?"

"Because you work here."

"And?"

"Well, if you heard the phone ring, I'd think, that as someone who works here and wants to keep their job, you'd answer it."

"Luke, no where in my job description does it say answer Boss' phone."

"Oh, you mean my apartment phone rang?"

"Yeah," Lane shook her head, confused. "Luke? Don't take this the wrong way, but have you been sleeping?"

"I'm gonna go check my messages."

"Okay," Lane shrugged.

Luke headed for his apartment and Lane went back to waiting tables. She looked up when the door opened and smiled. "Hi Liz."

"Hey. My brother here?"

"In his place."

"Thanks," Liz headed for the back. She entered just as the message ended:

"…Truth of it is, I didn't want us to end at all. And thus ends my diatribe. Goodbye Luke. Be happy."

"Was that who I think it was?"

"If you think it was Lorelai, then yeah." Luke stood up, "Told her not to leave without saying goodbye. She didn't think I'd let her walk away if she did it in person."

"Was she wrong?"

"Still would've liked the chance to try."

"Luke, maybe she did the right thing here."

"She did the chicken shit thing here Liz."

"And maybe it was the only thing she could do," Liz said. "Luke, I know how you feel about her. But you're the one who let her go."

"I didn't mean for her to leave town."

"Maybe you should have told her that."

"I want her home, Liz. I want her in this town. I want her in this diner."

"You want her back."

"How the hell did I let this happen?"

"I'm gonna tell you something and I don't want you to get mad at me."

"Oh this can't be good. Go ahead."

"You're way too much like Daddy. You and Jess both. It must be in the bloodline."

"Liz, what the hell are you talking about?"

"You, Dad, and Jess never say what's in your heart until it's way too late to do anything."

"Aw what are you talking about?"

"Dad never said 'I love you' to either of us, Jess didn't say it to Rory until it was too late, and did you ever tell Lorelai how you felt about her?"

Luke didn't say anything.

"Yeah I didn't think so. I'm on your side, always, but you are an idiot."

"Thanks Liz."

"You want her back?" She handed him the phone, "Start dialing."

"She said not to call."

"So what?"

"So, it's my turn to be chicken shit. She wants out, she's got it," Luke turned and exited the apartment.

"Idiots, the both of you," Liz whispered.


	4. Chapter 3

"See? I told you guys she'd be out here," Rory's voice reached Lorelai a few moments before the young woman did. "Hi, Mom."

"Hey Hon," Lorelai smiled and then greeted her daughter's friends. "Hi Paris. Hi Lane."

"Hi Lorelai," Lane and Paris said.

"Paris, how you doing, sweetie? You all recovered?"

Paris smiled sheepishly as she sat down with her friends and Lorelai. "Yeah. Thank you for asking. I just wasn't expecting to see a lion walked down a public street on a chain leash."

"Well, it's okay. I jumped a little the first time I saw Donovan walking one of the animals down the street."

"Me too," Rory chimed in.

"And me," Lane said.

"Okay."

"So, Mom? What's the news? It can't be that Angel's is almost finished 'cause we realized that when we got here."

"Oh. Right. The news," Lorelai fought a smile.

"Lorelai? Is everything okay," Lane asked.

"Uh, yeah. Everything's great," Lorelai said. "I was just wondering how Rory would feel about two siblings instead of just the one."

"What?"

"Oh my God," Paris shrieked.

"You're kidding," Lane got out through a hand covered mouth.

"Mom?"

"It's twins, babe," Lorelai smiled. "A boy and a girl as far as the doctor can tell."

"One of each," Rory had to grin.

"Yup," Lorelai nodded. "Now, your little brother already has a name."

"You're sticking with William Richard," Lane asked.

"Yeah," Lorelai nodded.

"Good." Rory paused. "Then maybe you should call Grandpa?"

Lorelai paused before saying, "We'll talk later."

"Okay," Rory agreed.

"So, Lorelai, you need a girl's name right?" Lane asked.

"Uh, yeah I guess I do," Lorelai mused.

"You could always use 'Lorelai' again and call her Trix in honor of great-grandma," Rory suggested.

"Trix Danes," Lorelai tried it out.

"Sounds like a stripper," Paris pointed out.

"She's right," Lane nodded.

"Yeah." Lorelai looked up, "Sorry Gran. I think the next Lorelai will be one of Rory's kids."

"Lucky child," Rory commented.

Lorelai smiled before looking at Lane, "Lane, your mom's lived in Stars Hollow for a while, right?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Do you know if she knows what Luke's mom's name was?"

"Oh, I know that," Lane said. "Her name was Paige."

"Oh, that's pretty," Paris smiled.

"And appropriate considering how much the men in Luke's family worship the ball that is base," Rory said.

"What?" Lorelai was confused.

"She's talking about the baseball player Satchel Page," Paris said. "Our history teacher just did a class on pop culture," she explained when Lorelai looked surprised that Rory and Paris knew anything about baseball

"Oh. Hmmm…"

"It does have a certain ring to it," Lane said. "Satchel Page Danes."

"Hey, spell it for me, will you Rory?"

"Uh, S-a-t-c-h-e-l."

"And Page?"

"Like the pages of a book."

"Oh," Lorelai looked at it and frowned. "I'd have to change the spelling. Make the end of Satchel more like the end of the longer version of Isabelle and spell Page you would for a girl's name."

"That'll be nice," Rory nodded. "We can call her Satch for short."

"Satchelle Paige Danes," Lorelai wrote out on the pad of paper she had in her hand. "I like the way that looks." She looked at her stomach and ran a hand over it. "What do you think little girl? You feel like a Satchelle Paige? Your brother has already approved of his name." She looked at the other women around her and smiled, "I think she approves."

* * *

"Mom," Rory poked her head into her mother's room later that night. "Hey. Still okay if I sleep in here?"

"Absolutely," Lorelai said as she sat on her bed. "Paris and Lane all settled in?"

"Yep," Rory said as she climbed into bed next to her mom. "You okay? You were kinda quiet during dinner."

"Just thinking," Lorelai said as she lay down on her back.

"The doctor is in," Rory encouraged.

"I was thinking about what you said before on the bridge about calling your grandparents."

"Really? Are you going to?"

"Yeah. I had already decided to call them but I just keeping going back and forth about it."

"If it makes you feel any better, I think Grandpa will be happy. He's getting his first grandson and another granddaughter. He loves granddaughters."

"Yes, he does," Lorelai agreed. "Oh boy, but I dread telling Emily."

"Maybe it won't be as bad as you think," Rory said hopefully.

"And maybe Carrot Top's next commercial won't be all that annoying."

"Are you changing your mind?"

"No, not really."

"So?"

"Maybe I should just tell Dad and tell him that if he thinks your grandma can be happy without being judgmental about who their dad is that he should tell her."

"That's a good idea," Rory nodded.

"You think so?"

"Yeah."

"Okay." Lorelai checked the clock and then picked up the phone. She bit her lip and dialed her parents' home.

"Hello?"

Oh thank God. It was Richard. "Dad, it's Lorelai."

"Well this is a surprise."

"Yeah, I know. I'm sorry for calling so late, but I think there's something you need to know."

"Are you alright? Is it Rory?"

"No, no, nothing like that. Rory and I are fine. This is actually semi-happy news from your perspective."

"Really? Well, what is it?"

"I'm pregnant."

"Pregnant?"

"Yes. I'm going to have twins."

"Twins?"

"A boy and a girl. I decided to name the boy William Richard for his grandfathers."

"I'm going to have a grandson," Richard sounded pleased. "You'll be giving him the last name Gilmore?"

"No, not this time Dad. He's going to have his father's last name."

"Ah," Richard said. "Well, this is very interesting news Lorelai. Would you like me to fetch your mother so you can tell her?"

"No, Dad. That's the other part of this conversation. You know Mom and I aren't exactly on speaking terms at the moment."

"I am aware of that yes."

"I was thinking that if you thought she could be happy and welcome her new grandchildren with open arms and not hold the fact that their father is not Christopher against them, that you could tell her."

"Well-"

"Because you know I can't really get upset for awhile and I don't want to argue with her."

Rory rolled her eyes and whispered, "Oh boy."

Lorelai frowned at her daughter, "So Dad, what do you say?"

"I will do this for you, Lorelai."

"Thank you, Dad." Lorelai let out a breath.

"Before we hang up, what will you be naming my new granddaughter? Lorelai the fourth?"

Lorelai smiled a little, "Believe it or not, we did toss that idea around but we went with something else for this one and agreed to have Rory name her daughter Lorelai something one day. Her name will be Satchelle Paige, in honor of her paternal grandma and the obsession with baseball her father's side of the family has."

"Satchelle Paige? It's an interesting name," Richard said thoughtfully. "And I do like the name you've chosen for my grandson."

"Thanks Dad. Hey do you wanna say hi to Rory?"

"Is she there?"

"Right here," Lorelai said before she gave the phone to Rory and turned on her side to try and sleep. She rested a hand on her stomach and grinned to herself. "Goodnight little ones," she whispered.


	5. Chapter 4

Have I mentioned that I don't like Logan?

* * *

"Hello?"

"Did I wake you?"

"Rory?" Lorelai turned on the lamp next to her bed. "Sweetie, what time is it?"

"It's late for you these days. I'm sorry. I should have waited until tomorrow."

"Honey, what's up," Lorelai asked as she pushed herself up in bed.

"I went to dinner tonight at Logan's."

"And? Isn't that a good thing? You said he was more into being the steady boyfriend than he was being once in a while date lately."

"Yeah but," Rory paused, not sure how to continue.

"What?"

"They didn't like me."

"What?"

"I'm not good enough apparently."

"What? Do they know you're a Gilmore?"

"It's not about that. Since I wasn't raised to be a wife who backs up her husband's decision and was instead raised to be my own person, I'm not Huntzberger material."

"Oh honey."

"I can't decide who was worse. Logan's mother or his grandfather."

"Oh, how is Shira?"

"You know Logan's mom?"

"From many moons ago. I think the last time I saw her I was a freshman in high school and she was a junior at Sarah Lawrence. She'd just gotten engaged to Mitchum and we were all at a party. She got plastered and tried to grope Chris."

"Mom! I do not need to hear that she tried to grope Dad." Rory shuddered on her end. "Anyway, his mom starts in about the lovely Fallon girl and how come Logan doesn't see her anymore?"

"In front of you?"

"Right there at the table."

"Then what happened?"

"Logan said they were being ridiculous and we left. But he was so quiet on the way home. He didn't say a word to me. I'm afraid he's going to bolt."

Lorelai bit her lip to keep what she was thinking inside.

"Mom?"

"Can I say something? Something you might not want to hear?"

"Go ahead."

"Maybe you should let him."

"What?"

"Honey, forcing someone to do something they're not ready to do never works."

"I did not force him."

"I know, but-"

"Hold on, someone's at the door."

Lorelai waited and she listened. It was a short conversation but at the end all was well in Rory and Logan land.

"Mom?"

"I heard. Have a nice night sweetie. Talk to you later."

"Bye."

Lorelai hung up the phone with a feeling of dread. She put the phone down and slid down under her covers. She had a bad, bad, _**bad**_ feeling about her daughter's new boyfriend. With all the boys Rory had been involved with she had been apprehensive but this was the first time she dreaded any news about their relationship. With Dean, she didn't have to worry, at least the first time they'd been together, and with Jess there had been Luke and his 'every ten minutes' interruption.

Lorelai smiled wryly. Who would have thought she'd ever long for the days when her daughter dated a dark-haired punk with a smart mouth and no visible ambition?

She looked at her nightstand. There was a triple frame sitting on it. On one end there was a picture of Rory and Jess because, like it or not and married or not, having Luke's baby made Jess her family, and in the middle was a picture of her and Luke from Liz's wedding. The last space was empty because that's where a picture of her babies would go. However Lorelai's gaze focused in on the image of Luke.

God she missed him. With absolute longing she wanted him here for her to talk to about all her worries involving Logan and Rory. She wanted him here when she woke up in the morning and when she went to bed at night.

There were times when it got to the point where she'd pick up the phone and start dialing only to firmly remind herself that Luke was no longer hers to pour her heart out to. So, in place of a conversation she'd started writing letters to him. She pulled out the notebook from the side of her bed and turned on the lamp.

_Dear Luke,_

_Well, here I am again. It's the middle of the night and all I want is to hear your voice telling me that Rory's a smart kid and that she will be okay. I so need to hear that right now because frankly I'm scared out of my mind here._

_I don't like this kid. From the moment I met him at the awful vow renewal I have not liked this kid and what his actions are turning my daughter into. She, Paris, and Lane were all here last weekend having boy problems. Lane's were a simple misunderstanding and Paris is trying to fix hers but it's Rory's I'm the most worried about._

_He's like Christopher. I know I've said this about her other boyfriends but I only saw flashes of it where they were concerned. With Dean it was the hair and the build and something in the eyes and with Jess it was his 'screw the world 'cept for me and my girl' attitude. But Logan is like Christopher reincarnated. He is spoiled and selfish and when I was around Chris I didn't care about anything but us and I don't want that for Rory. She deserves better than some spoiled brat whose family doesn't think she's good enough. Oh that's right, I didn't tell you about that part, did I? Apparently, the Huntzberger's think my daughter, Richard and Emily's angel, is not good enough for the heir apparent of the Huntzberger family fortune, name, and business. This is beginning to sound like a Jane Austen novel._

_There are times when I close my eyes and I can see Satchelle all grown up and finding her first love. Won't that be fun? You gave Dean Hell when Rory started going out with him especially after the first break-up so naturally I wonder what you'll do when our baby girl starts to date. But then I remember that you might not be there and the image I have in my head goes away._

_Lately, I've been thinking about how people say girls always look for guys like their dad. Well, if that's true then Rory has been looking for Christopher all this time in the guys she dates and she's finally found the guy who will promise to be there and then disappear just like Chris always did. I've been thinking I owe Rory an apology for all the years I let Chris play suddenly be there and then just as suddenly not be there with us._

_God Luke, as much as I don't want to sound like, be like, or in any way, shape, or form resemble my mother, I have to admit this. I don't think this kid is right for Rory. I've never felt this strongly about that fact before. I came to love Dean because he loved my daughter, I tolerated Jess for the same reason even though he was scared to love my daughter and let her love him and that ended up costing him their relationship but Logan does not love her the way she deserves and it bothers me that it seems not to bother Rory. She deserves so much better than him. She deserves someone who will love her because she is insane not in spite of it. Someone whose family will welcome her with open arms and be proud to have her as a member._

_But worrying about the future is useless. It's the right now that matters and right now, I'm just plain worried for her heart and tired from worry and I want to sleep._

_I miss you, did I mention that?_

_Love always,_

_Lorelai_

* * *

"I thank you for the opportunity, Mr. Huntzberger, but I have to say no," Rory said to Logan's father.

"I see. May I ask why the hell not?"

"Two reasons." Rory smiled, "The first is my mom. She's pregnant and I want to be available to her and I don't think I could be if I was working for you."

"I see. Congratulations."

"Thank you."

"And the other one?"

"I'm not interested in assuaging the guilt you feel over the abominable way your family behaved the other night."

"Fair enough. Thank you for being honest."

"Thank you," Rory said. She watched Logan's dad leave and then turned to Paris. "Hey did I tell you that my mom said Logan's mom tried to grope my dad when they were kids?"

"Ugh!"


	6. Chapter 5

Ch 6

"Luke's."

"Is Lucas Danes there?"

"You got him," Luke said frowning at the order pad in front of him. Kirk wanted what?

"Mr. Danes, do you know a Lorelai V. Gilmore or a Lorelai L. Gilmore?"

"Rory? And Lorelai? Yeah."

"Well, you were listed on the call list we have on file for the elder Miss Gilmore."

"I'm sorry, who is this?"

"I apologize. This is Dr. Whitmore at Northwest Medical Center in St. Albans, Vermont. Miss Gilmore and her children were brought here after a car accident."

"Children? Are they okay?"

"The little ones are fine; it's their mother and sister I'm concerned about. How quickly can you get here?"

But Luke didn't hear her question, he was already out the door.

"Luke?" Lane called after him.

She went to get the phone. After only a few seconds, she was calling Jess, ordering Caesar to take over and hanging up her apron.

"Lane? What's going on?" Jess asked.

"I'll explain on the way. Where's your cell phone?"

"I got rid of it." Jess dried his hands on a towel and led her to his car.

Lane gaped. "You got rid of it?"

"I don't want to answer to the Man." Jess opened the door for himself.

Lane sat down and buckled her seatbelt, thinking half remembered Korean prayers. She was getting in a car with JESS? After he wrecked Rory's car and sent her to the hospital? "I hope you mean the government."

"Who else?" Jess turned the car on and maneuvered out of the space.

"A drug dealer?" Lane snapped. "How could you not have a cell phone? It's ridiculous."

"That's why." Jess smirked at the Korean who looked about ready to do a teapot imitation.

"Crap. I guess I can wait to call Paris." Lane rubbed her forehead.

"Paris? That blonde who went to Chilton with Rory? Why would you call her?"

"Well, she's Rory's roommate and one of her closest friends."

"Lane, what's going on? I don't even know where I'm going."

"St. Albans, Vermont. Lorelai and Rory were in a car accident."

"So I should follow the rubber Luke's putting on the highway?"

"That sounds about right."

"Hang on," Jess sped up.

* * *

Luke entered the ER and headed for the desk. "Gilmore."

The nurse looked up and her mouth opened slightly. The man in front of her had a dish towel over his shoulder, a crumbled pad in his hand. He didn't look right. Her hand inched toward the button for the psych ward. "Your name is Gilmore?"

"I'm here to see the Gilmores'. I was the contact list."

"And your name is?"

"Danes. Luke Danes."

"Luke, short for?"

"Lucas." He said. "Please. They mentioned kids."

"You said your last name was Danes?" The nurse was typing something into the computer.

"Yeah."

"I have two infants listed as coming in with the Gilmores. The younger Gilmore woman was conscious long enough to tell us their names. William Danes and Satchelle Danes."

Luke dropped the pad, put a hand on the counter and leaned forward, breathing hard. The nurse was getting ready to ask if he were having an anxiety attack or if he had a heart condition when two twenty-something's ran in and made a beeline for the man.

"Luke? Are they okay? What-" Lane stopped talking for a moment when she saw Luke's face. "Are you okay?"

Luke ignored Lane in favor of talking to the nurse, "What happened?"

"Maybe you should wait-"

"What happened?"

"Sir-"

Luke threw the rag from his shoulder over the nurse's shoulder and shouted, "Dammit! What the hell happened?"

"Security!"

"That's not necessary," Jess started desperately.

"He's just worried and upset," Lane continued.

"He's not dangerous," Jess finished, managing to tug Luke away from the very alarmed woman at the desk. "Luke, c'mon. Lane's going to find out what's going on while we sit down and you calm down."

"No-"

"Yes. Otherwise the nice woman behind the desk is going to have you tossed out on your ass."

Lane waited until Jess had Luke a respectable distance away before she turned and smiled at the woman behind the desk. "Sorry about that. They're getting married soon and they've waited a long time and I think he's just more anxious than the average groom."

"Ah, I see. Okay. Are you family?"

"Yes, I am. I'm the elder Miss Gilmore's niece. My mother was her sister." Lane could hear her mother now. _Me? Related to a woman who got pregnant at sixteen? And you're lying? Lane Kim, go to your room_ Sorry Mama. Desperate times called for desperate measures.

"Ah. Okay. Your cousin is in much better shape than your aunt. Are you authorized to sign things for treatment?"

"No. But I believe that if you look at Aunt Lorelai's file, she has papers stating that Luke is."

"Can he hold a pen?" The woman asked. Luke had started to pace, and Jess was watching, making eye motions like that of a spectator at a ping pong match.

"Yes. He's just upset. Uh, the younger ones? Are they okay?"

"Yes. They're up on the pedes floor for observation for the night. You should be able to take them home tomorrow."

"Is the girl--is Satch crying? Because she goes to sleep if you rock her, but otherwise she can make you want to rip out your hair."

"I'll call the pedes floor and pass that along," the desk nurse said with a smile. "Now your aunt has some internal damage that needs immediate surgery."

"Luke'll sign. But uh, he'll want updates. I don't care if you dress the janitor in scrubs, but he'll want like an hourly progress thing."

"I understand. The surgical waiting room is on four. I can have someone take you upstairs after he's signed the consent forms."

Lane took the clipboard and caught up with Luke on his next lap around the chairs. "Sign this so they can operate. Then we go upstairs and wait."

"Lane?" Jess spoke up and motioned for her to come over to him.

"Yeah?"

"How's Rory?"

"She's better than Lorelai. That's all I know."

The rebellious boy had grown into a man, but there were remnants of the boy in the slight worship-from-afar aspect that remained part of Jess's treatment of Rory. "They gonna be okay?"

"I don't know," Lane said honestly. She looked at Luke and then back at Jess, "She never told him she was pregnant."

"You didn't either."

"Luke's my friend. I respect him but Lorelai practically raised me and Rory's my best friend."

"Doesn't mean you think everything she does is right. You had to know how bad this would hurt him."

Lane bowed her head. "And you don't know how much he hurt her," she said quietly.

"Bull." Jess said, succinctly. "I know, I'm talking about a Gilmore girl, and they're saints, and not to be criticized. I know Lorelai is hurt, and you think that if you're mad at her, it'll make it worse if she doesn't come back. But I've been the one who runs. I've taken that coward's way out. I know how, at first, you blame everyone else for your problems. And yeah, he was an ass to her, and her parents were asses to him. Playing "Who's the biggest jerk" doesn't make anyone right, and it does mean that he missed a once in a lifetime chance with Lorelai. So don't try to sell me, or him. Get him to sign the damn form, we'll go upstairs and let him pace."

"Surgical waiting room is on four. Give the papers to the nurse when he's done. I'm going up to pedes."

Jess grabbed his uncle's arm, used the momentum to propel him to a chair, presented him with clipboard, paper and pen, and indicated the places the administrator's needed Luke's name.

Lane headed for the elevator. On her way she passed some phones. She dug some change out and dialed Rory and Paris' apartment.

* * *

"Luke would you sit down? You're making me dizzy," Jess said.

Luke shot him an annoyed look. "No."

"Fine, then I'll stand." His nephew joined him.

"What are you doing?"

"Solidarity, Uncle Luke."

"Go back to the diner. Caesar can't handle it by himself."

"I'm not leaving you here so Security can chuck you out the door."

"Jess? It is Jess right?" A blonde woman walked into the waiting room. She was wearing a pair of pink pajamas and sneakers.

"You must be from the pedes unit?" He guessed.

"No. I'm Paris, we met once, remember?"

Jess winced. He remembered. "It was good of you to come, but..."

"Lane called. Are they okay? That idiot nurse downstairs wouldn't tell me anything but she did say my father was upstairs in the waiting room."

"Did you tell her you were Rory's sister or something?"

"No. I was yelling a little so she must have thought I was family."

"Right. You should know that we're not telling Christopher or Emily." Jess said. "Lane and I decided that Lorelai won't want to deal with them and Luke when she wakes up." If she wakes up, he thought.

"Oh, well that's smart. Do you know if Lane called anyone besides me?"

"No. She's with Satchelle in the pedes unit. Apparently, the kid has a set of lungs on her."

"Yeah. Did she tell you that Satch is deaf? Lorelai just found out last week."

"She hasn't told us much." Jess said. "Now, I'm going to try to deal with my uncle a bit, so if you could go help Lane or find somebody to talk to us, I'd appreciate it. As I remember, you can be kind of intimidating, and since you're pre-med, you probably understand the chain of command and who actually knows what they're talking about at a hospital."

"I can try. Oh, if someone named Logan shows up, come get me."

"Why?"

"Cause he has no right to be here."

"Explanation."

"Well, I was going to tell Rory when she got back on Sunday so I figure I can tell you now. I saw Logan, Rory's boyfriend, making out with some girl yesterday. Lane wouldn't know that so she might have called him and told him about Rory."

Jess nodded. "Got it, no Logans."

"And if you see anyone with him that's swaggering and has an accent that's Finn. Call security or he'll play doctor with a nurse."

"So Rory made some really charming friends at Yale."

"Looking back, the only one worth anything was Marty and he stopped coming around Rory started up with Logan."

"Okay, well, you go threaten people. I'm going to talk to Luke."

"Okay. You said Lane is on the pedes floor right? I'm gonna go talk to her."

"Bye." Jess caught up to his uncle. "Stop. You'll make yourself sick. Do you want to go meet the babies? Or see Rory--she's sleeping, but she's out of surgery. They'll come get us when they finish with Lorelai."

Luke didn't respond.

"You pacing here doesn't help her."

"I knew something was going on that day in the dance studio. Stars Hollow was her home and here she was ready to say bye to it without a backwards glance. If I had just pushed a little more maybe..."

Jess watched Luke finally sink into a chair. "There was always supposed to be a second chance," Luke said, almost to himself. "She wasn't supposed to run away from me. I didn't push, because when you push her, she runs. She did it to Richard and Emily, she did it to Max. So I knew, I knew not to push too hard, but there was supposed to another chance."

"Luke, she's not dead," Jess said to him. "Right now, this minute, she's still breathing. She's alive. And as long as she is, there is a second chance."

Luke shook his head slowly, "Maybe, for some things. But even if we get to a good place, we'll have the memory of it in between us."

"Luke, I waited to long. I was to late when I told Rory I wanted to be with her. I screwed up and I can't take it back. I can't fix it. You can."

"I know." Luke said. "And I will. I'll forgive her for running and lying, and she'll forgive me for pushing her away. But we'll always remember. I failed her when I pushed, she failed me when she ran. You can live with it, get past it. But you remember it."

"Fine. Remember it but don't let it keep you from each other."

"I know better, and so does she." Luke sighed. "You don't understand what I'm saying, do you?"

"I guess not."

"Go see Rory. I'm going down to the pede's floor to see the kids."

"Okay," Jess nodded and made his way up to the Surgical ICU. He found Rory's room and a nurse was writing on her chart.

"Hello," she greeted.

"She's still asleep?"

"With the meds she's on--yeah, she'll be sleeping for a while."

"Oh," Jess looked at Rory. She was pale and a bandage was attached to her forehead. "Is she gonna be alright?"

"Yes, she should be fine. Are you family?"

"I will be if her mother and my uncle ever figure out that they shouldn't let other people get in between them."

"I see," the nurse looked at Jess oddly.

"Yes, we're family."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. I'm engaged to her cousin, who is upstairs checking on our cousins who were also in the accident with Rory and Lorelai." Off the nurse's look, "It's a very convoluted family tree."

"Okay," the nurse said. "I'll be back to check on her in a bit."

Jess sat down next to Rory's bed. "Hey there. I know I'm probably the last person you expected to have sitting next to you right now but when Luke got the call Lane and I followed him up here. I, uh, I went to the gift shop before I came up here and I picked up a book. It's a romance novel. It wasn't my first choice but when I read a couple of the first lines it conjured up an image of someone I knew. See if you agree with me." Jess opened the book and started to read, "'She wasn't a patient woman. Delays and excuses were barely tolerated, and never tolerated well. Waiting-and she was waiting now-had her temperature dropping degree by degree toward ice.'" Jess looked up from the book at Rory, "What do you think? Sound like a certain grandmother you have?" He half smiled before he continued reading to her.

* * *

Luke half listened to what the doctor was saying about Satchelle and Will. They were okay and that's all he really needed to know for now. Rory was okay; Paris had come down a few moments ago to tell them that before she and Lane went to get a soda.

"Get out!"

Luke looked up when he heard a very agitated female voice. Through the window he could see Lane and Paris along with that kid Logan and a dark-haired boy standing in the hall. Paris looked beyond pissed at Logan. She was gesturing and being loud and Lane looked confused but Logan looked slightly guilty.

He apologized to the doctor and went out into the hall.

"Hey. What the hell is going on out here?"

"He has_no_ right to be here," Paris pointed at Logan.

"Okay. Why?"

"Because he cheated on Rory!"

"What?" Luke looked at Logan who had chosen that moment to swallow hard.

"Paris, I don't know what you think you saw but-"

"I saw_you_ with your tongue down some red head's throat in the middle of the quad," Paris fairly shrieked at the blonde man. "So, I want you to take your lecherous friend and go back to whatever rock you crawled out from under before the need I have to physically harm you becomes to much and I drop kick you out a window."

"Alright, look Paris-"

"Leave," Luke said. "Right now. Or _I'm_ going to drop kick you off the roof."

"Stay out of this. This is none of your business," Logan said snidely. "Hey!"

Luke grabbed Logan by the collar, "You listen to me you snot-nosed little punk. The only reason I didn't pound the crap out of you the last time we saw each other was because I was busy trying not to pound the crap out of Christopher. That's no longer a problem. Now, if you don't leave you're going to be very glad we're in a hospital and if you try to come back you'll be lucky to be in such close proximity to so many doctors 'cause I'll break every bone in your body. We clear?"

"Yes sir," Logan gets out.

"Good," Luke lets him go and goes back into the nursery.

He misses Paris and Lane stomping on Logan's feet and belting him in the stomach respectively and only notices when they come back into the nursery.

* * *

It was late. The hospital wasn't as busy as it had been a few hours ago and Luke could actually hear the ticking of the clock as he walked into Lorelai's room.

She was pale and there were too many machines around her but she was breathing on her own and according to the doctors that was a good thing but they didn't know how long it would take for her to wake up.

That was what scared him. The fact that the doctors were saying that she could either wake up tomorrow or in ten years or never. He would have to tell Rory that soon. It couldn't be put off forever. But first he wanted a few moments alone with Lorelai.

He laid a hand over hers and sighed. He leaned down and kissed her forehead.

"We have a lot of arguing and talking and figuring things out to do," he whispered. "So don't you die on me, you hear me? Don't you dare die on me." He rested his forehead against hers for a few moments before he stood up. "I'll be back."

* * *

The part where Jess reads to Rory is from Nora Roberts' book Luring a Lady. I thought it fit. :) 


	7. Chapter 6

It had been four weeks and she still hadn't woken up. Luke refused to leave Lorelai's side except when he went to the bathroom.

Rory had tried to get him to go back to the apartment even if it was just for the night so he could sleep but he wouldn't budge. Then Lane tried in her own timid with a streak of steel Korean way but Luke had just ignored her. Finally Jess tried and he had about as much luck as the two women that were currently taking up most of his time.

The thing that finally got Luke out of the hospital room was the night nurse that took care of Lorelai. Where the other three had merely cajoled and tried to make him see reason, she threatened him with a security guard that made Hagrid from the Harry Potter movies look like Tiny Tim. She said that if he didn't go home and get some serious rest, she was going to lock them up in a room and the guard was going to go medieval on his ass.

So now Luke sat on the couch in Lorelai's living room. The remodeled firehouse had an interesting feel to it. There was a big window at one end that looked out on the street and in front of it was a hammock.

He'd missed it when they'd hung that, and missed the discovery that it would be helpful. So many irreplaceable moments were gone, through no intentional choice of his own.

In the moments when his worry dissipated for a few moments the anger came to the surface. He went between praying that she'd wake up and wanting to kill her for leaving him the way she did.

Luke sighed and put his head in his hands.

"Lorelai hides a bottle of scotch in the coffee table," Jess' voice said a few moments later. "Lane told me. She, Rory, and Paris had to replace it one weekend."

"That sounds like _her_. Not so much like Rory, but it sounds like _her_." He couldn't say Lorelai's name when he was in this mood. He said her name for prayers, for I love you's and Please wake ups. Not for mundane purposes like this.

Jess walked over into the kitchen area and grabbed a glass before he walked back to Luke. He put the glass on the end table and then opened up the coffee table. He found the bottle and then closed the lid before he poured a glass. "Shall I drink this or are you going to?"

"I don't understand why she did this to me. She's always been dramatic. Hell, she's been out of touch with reality since I met her. I knew that. But was blowing up at her really justification for her to sell her business and her home, skip town and have twins alone in the middle of nowhere? Do you know how much she had to hate me to do this alone, again? But she gave them my name. I don't understand."

Jess sighed and sat down in the recliner. "Are you listening to yourself? Forget that. Rory and I were talking the other day when I was driving her back to school. We talked about why Lorelai split like she did. Rory said that Lorelai didn't want to force your hand."

"So she never let me make a choice." Luke snarled. "Makes perfect sense. You just have to be a Gilmore to get it."

"She didn't marry Christopher, Luke."

"Yeah, and she couldn't be disappointed again."

"She said no to him. Didn't want him with her if he didn't want to be there. You--she knows you, Luke. She knows that you took in your sister's teenager because he was family. She knows you found an extra large casket to bury Uncle Louie's stuff with him, because he was family. She knew you'd marry her, if she was in the family way, but she didn't want you on those terms. She wanted you to do some big, romantic gesture like hire bloodhounds to follow her scent from Stars Hollow to here. She wanted the movie moment, where the hero sees the girl after twenty years, and they recognize each other immediately." Jess paused. "Or, she might've just panicked."

"You're real comforting. You know that?" Luke asked sarcastically.

"For what it's worth, I'm going with my first guess. Lorelai didn't marry Rory's father even though it probably would've been the right thing to do. Rory said she heard her dad ask Lorelai to marry him again when Rory was sixteen. She still said no."

"Because Christopher is an unreliable idiot," Luke said.

"That's right. She never truly relied on him. You were the one she always went to whenever she really needed anything."

"Shut up, Jess."

"No." Jess sighed. "Okay, Rory told me something and made me promise only to tell you if it was truly necessary."

"What?"

"Okay, first off, Lorelai was going to tell you."

"Excuse me?"

"She was on her way to the diner, charging full steam across the square. Then she heard you tell Taylor that your lack of a relationship with each other was no one's business and to knock it off with the ribbons. It stopped her cold. If Jackson hadn't been there, Lorelai probably would've passed out in the middle of town. Imagine finding out you're gonna be a father that way," Jess said.

"Better than finding out from a total stranger that I already was a father and just didn't know it."

"Luke, you know what I'm saying here, right?"

"Kind of," Luke muttered. "What's the other thing?"

"Oh right. In Lorelai's room under her pillow is a kind of journal. Rory said that after they left Stars Hollow there were times when Lorelai wanted to talk to you and she knew that that was out of the question so one time when she was at Yale visiting Rory she bought a notebook and started to write little notes to you."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Rory didn't think they were anything profound, but since they are addressed to you, she thought you might like to read them."

"Under her pillow?"

"Yeah. If you hear the kids, don't get up. I've got it covered."

"Thanks," Luke said as he went into Lorelai's room. He flipped on the nightstand lamp and reached under the pillow until he found a notebook. He pulled it out and smiled at the word 'Yale' that was imprinted on the cover before opening to the first page.

_Dear Luke,_

_So, go figure. The last time I kept a diary I was sixteen and pregnant and living at home and Emily and Richard and Straub and Francine wanted me to marry Christopher. But most of all, the last time I kept a diary I was scared and miserable and that's the way I feel now._

_I bought this today after I pulled my cellphone out in the middle of the store to call and tell you I going to eat something that you probably wouldn't think was healthy. It was the seventh time in two days I'd picked up a phone with the intention of calling you. Rory says I should just get it over with because eventually I will call you and tell you and you'll be mad anyway and I should tell you sooner rather than later because that will limit the fallout somewhat. I love my daughter but I think her belief is just the start of why kids used to call her 'Mary' back at Chilton._

"Kids still do that," Luke asked out loud before he went back to reading.

_Anyway, I thought maybe instead of calling you I could write to you because while it's not the same as hearing your voice it is better than giving in to an impulse that will just end badly._

_So for now, I write..._

_Love,_

_Lorelai._

Luke flipped ahead in the book until he found another entry.

_Dear Luke,_

_Okay, so I might be psychic. I am not kidding. I don't know if you remember the time I slept at your apartment right after the Independence Inn burned down and I told you about that dream I had. Well, I think it might have been a premonition because in that dream I was pregnant with twins and today the doctor told me that I am pregnant with (dramatic pause) twins!_

_Rory's reaction to my dream was to say "You are going to be _**_so_**_ fat." Nice daughter, huh? Anyway when I told her she was getting both a little brother and a little sister, she was so excited._

_I decided on a boy's name a long time ago. Your son's name is William Richard. And this afternoon with Rory, Lane, and Paris I decided on a girl's name. We're calling her Satchelle Paige. I wonder what your reaction to that would be. Your daughter named for a baseball player and your mom all in one breath._

_I'm going to tell my parents tonight. Actually I'm just telling my dad and I'm letting **him** tell my mom. Some how I think it'll be easier and better if the news that her newest grandchild is being fathered by someone other than Christopher will be easier to take if it comes from my father._

_I wonder what your parents would've thought about getting two grandchildren for the price of one. And as I write this, a small voice inside my head reminds me that I wonder what your reaction would be too. I think you'd love getting a son. I can just see you in matching caps and flannel shirts as my father desperately tries to get you both into three-piece suits. And I can imagine your panic as Satchelle grows up and starts to date and you meeting her 'Dean'. Hopefully you'll still be strong enough to put the kid into a headlock._

_Just kidding._

_Love,_

_Lorelai_

Luke shook his head and closed the book. He'd read the rest of them later. He sat up and looked around the room. The bookcase was full of books with titles like The Idiot's Guide to Auto Repair.

"She wanted to make sure she knew things that you'd be able to teach Will," Rory's voice came from the door.

"Rory, what are you doing here?"

"Sookie showed up and kicked me out. She said I needed sleep. Jackson and the boys are here. He said he'd open tomorrow so we could rest."

"Does he know how?"

Rory nodded, "Yeah. He and Sookie helped out when Mom was in her last few months of pregnancy and for two months after she had the kids. They were in Stars Hollow half the week and here the other half."

"How did I not notice?"

Rory sat down next to Luke. "Maybe because you were too busy trying to ignore all mentions or persons that reminded you of Mom."

Luke looked at her thoughtfully, "How'd you get so smart?"

"It's all the coffee."

"Right," Luke nodded. "So, how are you doing?"

"Okay for the most part. I've been keeping busy with the paper. Paris and Doyle keep giving me stupid little stories to keep my mind busy."

"And Logan?"

"Does not know what the words 'go away' mean," Rory said.

"How about restraining order? Is he familiar with those?"

"I don't know. I'm thinking I might have better luck with the words, 'Leave me alone or I'll sic Paris on you'," Rory said. "I'm gonna head to bed. Jess is in my room, Jackson and the kids are in the guest room and you're in here, so I'm gonna take the hammock."

"Rory, I'll take the couch and you can stay in here," Luke told her.

"It's okay. I like the hammock."

"You sure?"

"Uh-huh," Rory smiled getting up. "See you in the morning."

"Night."

Rory shut the door behind her and Luke lay on his back in Lorelai's bed. He looked at her nightstand and saw the frame that held a picture of her and him, Jess and Rory, and Satch and Will. Next to it was a small album. He picked it up and then leaned back against the pillows as he opened it.

The first one was of Lorelai and Rory in front of Angels on either side of a 'For Sale' sign with a 'Sold' sticker across it. They were both grinning so widely that Luke had to smile too. He went through the rest of the pictures until he got to the last two which were one of Lorelai, Rory, Will and Satchelle in front of Angels' front window, Lorelai and Will on one side, Rory and Satch on the other, and a big stained glass angel holding a coffee cup in the middle of them. Luke couldn't help but smile as he noticed that the stained glass angel had blue eyes and dark curly hair that seemed to be blowing all around her face. Then he squinted and realized that she wore a blue crystal charm around her neck and in her hand was a coffee cup. The next picture was of Lorelai and Will sitting in front of the window on the right side of the front door to Angels where there was another stained glass angel, only this one was a male angel. He had blue eyes and a five o'clock shadow with lighter brown hair.

_She came up to the counter with a hopeful smile. He tried to ignore her and turned away with the coffee pot but that hadn't deterred her. It never did._

"_Please, Luke. Please, please, please."_

"_How many cups have you had this morning? _

_She hesitated a little, "None." _

_He prodded, "Plus..."_

"_Five, but yours is better." _

_He pushed the cup she was holding to the counter and frowned at her, "You have a problem."_

_She nodded her head, "Yes, I do."_

_He shook his head as he poured her the coffee, "Junkie." _

_She smiled brilliantly at him, "Angel. You've got wings, baby."_

Luke closed the book and laid it aside with a shaky sigh. She hadn't forgotten him. She'd put him somewhere she could see him every day.

He wondered if he'd ever get the chance to tell her he hadn't forgotten her either.


End file.
